Pregnant Mom, God-sized dream

A Mom’s Prayer for Mother’s Day

Kim Faith, Family 13 Comments

A Mom’s Dreams

Mother’s Day has always been such a hard day for me. Ever since I was a little girl, all I’ve ever wanted was to hold a baby in my arms and be called Mommy; to feel a child growing in my belly; experience the joys of childbirth; to have those big, innocent eyes looking up at me, anxiously waiting for all the answers to their unending questions about life.

Pregnant Mom, God-sized dream for baby, Mother's Prayers for Child

Though I tried for many years to preserve this precious gift through multiple painful surgeries (due to severe endometriosis), I was told I would need a hysterectomy. This was not the first time. I’d been told this for more than ten years, but had held out hope the doctors were wrong.

In my mid-30s now, the disease was doing too much damage to my body to wait any longer. I agreed. God had other plans for me and Mom was not on His list.

For anyone who believes you cannot miss what you’ve never had – you are sorely mistaken. There is death here.

Neither surgery nor disease can destroy what God puts in your heart. The desire and longing to mother remains.

Each time a baby cried, my heart broke. The holidays were bittersweet memories as I watched with equal amounts of joy and sadness as my siblings raised their children.

I wondered if this need would ever go away.

The feelings would fade at times, and then sneak up on me out of nowhere. I’d be with friends having a wonderful time, the conversation would turn to the future, our dreams and raising children. I’d feel my heart start to beat faster, then – like a one-two punch, the air would be rushing out of me and I couldn’t breathe. Leaving the room as fast as I could, I’d give the “I’ll be right back” universal signal from behind so they didn’t see the tears streaming down my face or the pain in my eyes. So many times I’d be fine, then the pain would hit me like a sledge hammer. Years would pass, then the sight of a mother with her baby in the park would send me shaking to my knees and crying out to God.

How would I build my own family? What about all my prayers?

Prayer Requests, Don't be Anxious, Ask God. Pray without ceasing and trust God. And always remember to give thanks in all things.

God’s Plan

God doesn’t leave us in our pain. He fulfills our prayers. Maybe not in the way we hoped for, but He has a plan for us.

Marriage not only made me a wife. It made me a Mom. Not to a child, but a young woman.

Prayers. Thousands of prayers I thought had gone unanswered, now fulfilled.

My prayers are different now. Lord, please make me worthy of this daughter’s love. Please make me the Mom she needs me to be, when she needs me to be there.  Please don’t let her see how scared I am of being a complete failure or a hot mess all at the same time as I try to love her as Jesus loves me.

Let her understand grace and mercy and forgiveness, Lord. Let her give it freely, Jesus, because you know that I need it. You’ve forgiven me for my sins, Lord, but can she? Will she? Can I? I am my own worst critic.

It’s so hard to be the perfect Mother that I want to be; that I dreamed of being. I only have myself to give, Lord, in all my flaws and failures. Please make that enough for her just as it is enough for you.

One day she will know what it means to have a son or daughter look in her eyes and feel that kind of love.

Lord, please let her know that she is always enough for me. In my busyness, in my selfishness – if I ever forget to say it, Lord, please just let her know, because she is. She has been. She will always be.

Lord, she was enough the day you spoke her into life in her mother’s womb.

I don’t know how my Mom did this with five children. I wish she were around so I could share in her wisdom. There is so much I would ask her. So many things I want to tell her.

Did she ever feel like a failure? Did she pray for us?

I’m so sorry if I ever hurt you, Mom.

I pray that you know how much I treasured you while I had you on this earth; how much I still do.

Daily Prayers

I pray that my daughter would know that I daily pray for strength and guidance in my own walk. I pray that she would be the woman God has called her to be. I also pray that she would know how proud I am of the woman she is now, and that one day she would know how much strength she gives me; how much she has taught me about life; how much courage I gain from her being in my life.

Lord, I pray for her safety, for you to protect her from the enemy and for you to make straight paths for her.

I pray for her future, for her to have a godly husband and children. For her to be treated like the wonderful treasure that she is. And I pray that she would never forget Jesus loves her.

For all the Mothers and the Mothers-to-be, and for all the women who will never have children, but will nurture the people He has placed in your lives: Never give up on your dreams and never stop praying. He hears your prayers and fulfills them. Through your pain, He will bring you joy. He will bring you strength.

He is working on you as you work through others.

Answered Prayers. God answers prayers, even when we don't think He's listening. They may not look like we think they should, but He gives so much more than we could ask or imagine.

Remember – You are dearly loved.

What are you praying for this Mother’s Day?

Looking for more family posts? Legacy of Love,  Infertility to Triplets, Would I be Enough.

I’m linking up here.

Keep the Faith,

Comments 13

  1. Jen

    Hi, Kim! I’m stopping by from Grace and Truth. How touching to hear how God answered your prayers, even years after you thought that answer to be impossible! It reminds me of so many of our biblical heroes who waited for years upon years for God’s promises to them to be fulfilled. :) Thanks for sharing with us last week!
    Jen :)
    Jen recently posted…Honesty in Tough Times ~ Grace and Truth Week 17My Profile

  2. Candace

    Seeing your beautiful words and prayers for your daughter shows what an incredible mother you are and will always be. It’s the toughest and most rewarding job in the world. We will never do it perfectly but with God, we are always enough. God’s timing can be difficult to wait for, but the wait makes those answered prayers so much sweeter, doesn’t it? Many blessings to you and your precious daughter.
    Candace recently posted…Letting Friends Break Down Your WallsMy Profile

  3. Ruthie Gray

    This was lovely, Kim, thank you for sharing your heart. God does hear, He just doesn’t always answer the way we think He should. I’m praying for my younger 3 and their future mates this Mother’s Day weekend. As they are all in college and finding their paths to the future. Oh, how I want godly mates for each of them! But God, in His time will answer, He loves them better than I. Have a Happy Mother’s Day!

  4. Ceil

    Hi Kim! Happy Mother’s Day my friend. I can so relate to your sadness over not being able to conceive. As you know, I couldn’t get pregnant either, but was blessed with two adopted children. They are mine in every way, just like your daughter, they came to us in a different way that’s all.

    I love your honest prayers about yourself, and for your daughter. Seen through the lens of faith, we just want our children to rest in the Lord, and trust that He will guide them and love them. I am so human too, and pray and struggle with faith a lot too. It’s two steps forward, then one back. But at least it’s forward!
    Have a wonderful Mother’s Day my friend. Your daughter is a beautiful young lady, you have much to be joyful about :)
    Ceil
    Ceil recently posted…Surrounded By Perfect GiftsMy Profile

  5. Laurie Collett

    Thank you for the beautiful and touching post. Praise God that He answers prayers in the best possible way, with His perfect timing, even though we don’t understand at the time. Linked up with you at Friendship Friday — hope you’ll stop by Saved by Grace for a visit!
    God bless and Happy Mothers’ Day!

    1. Post
      Author
      Kim

      Thank you for coming by, Victor. Just an honest look at a Type-A person with perfectionist issues. You always want your child to do better and not see your flaws. But then maybe it is better that they do. No one is perfect. They will not be perfect.

  6. Loralu James Conville

    Beautiful post, Kim. Reminds me of my recent comment, “We grieve when our dreams for our future die.” And yet, God knows and God answers our prayers in His own way. Your daughter is covered with your prayers–He knew! Blessings, this Mother’s Day, as you celebrate your own journey of mothering. How blessed your daughter is–to have you!
    Blessings, Friend
    Loralu James Conville recently posted…LOST MY CRYSTAL BALL!My Profile

    1. Post
      Author
  7. Bill (cycelguy)

    What a wonderful post Kim. She is a beautiful young lady on the outside. I am “betting” she is also on the inside and you are helping to mold that part of her (with Jesus’ help). I love your heart. If you get a chance (and this is not a shameless plug) please read my post and the link I suggested. Then maybe you might help share it (the link not necessarily my post). I’d like to hear your thoughts on the link also.
    Bill (cycelguy) recently posted…ExtraordinaryMy Profile

    1. Post
      Author
      Kim

      Loved your post and the article you linked to, Bill. So true. I’ve felt it many times through the years. Thank you for your kind words.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge