When you think back to the guy or girl you dreamed of when you were young, what were some of the top qualities on ‘the perfect mate list for marriage‘ you just had to have?
- attractive (lets face it, we need to be physically attracted to our mate)
- makes me laugh
- similar interests
- good morals
- heart for God
Your Perfect Mate List for Marriage
Did your perfect mate list look something like the list above? When we start out with our dream list of qualities, none of us wants to find a mate who will be dishonest or untrustworthy. We don’t dream of someone with anger issues, addiction or gambling problems, or someone who is a pathological liar. Am I right?
As we get older and prepare to marry, our priorities shift. We learn that what’s on the inside matters a lot more than what’s on the outside. How someone was raised, their character, integrity, and work ethic are much more important than looks. If you were not paying attention during the dating process, you could be in for a big surprise after the wedding. And for those of you who see the red flags now, while you are dating and think things will change once you marry, think again.
Many couples spend more time worrying about the wedding, putting off relationship issues that should be fixed long before that walk down the aisle. Some brides have the mistaken illusion that everything will fall into place once the ring is on her finger. Sadly, things that were a problem before the wedding are typically a much bigger problem in the marriage.
The pressures of life, coupled with the realities of marriage and living with someone and sharing all your flaws will put pressure on the best of couples. Let’s face it, we are all selfish human beings here. No one likes to have that 24/7/365 mirror known as our spouse reflecting back all our ugly flaws. They seem magnified 100x when someone else is watching. Does anyone know what I’m talking about here?
We want to run and hide. Or worse, we want to get angry and fight.
The last thing any of us want is an unhappy marriage. So what can we do to change that?
You can let the enemy rule your marriage, or you can have a God-centered marriage.
You can let doubt, fear, mistrust, selfishness, lust, pride, and all the other tools of the enemy wreak havoc on your life together.
Or you can accept grace. Accept Jesus. Learn how to love your spouse through God and have the agape love that will allow you to build the type of relationship that will sustain throughout your lifetime. You can learn how to give the mercy, forgiveness, kindness, compassion, empathy, and grace to others that your Heavenly Father gives to you.
Think it’s not possible? It is – for everyone. Even if you are past the wedding and into a couple of kids. Even for you – yes, you there who is already separated and heading toward divorce. Why? He has even brought couples back together who have been divorced for years.
How? Nothing is impossible with God!
God meets each of us exactly where we are; He is the God of personal relationships. Speak this prayer of salvation right now and invite Him into your life and then take the next steps to learn how to have a God-centered marriage.
Jesus, I humbly come before you today. I need you in my life. I ask you to forgive me of my sins and save me from the eternal separation from God. Lord, by faith I accept your work and death on the cross as payment for my sins. Thank you, Father for hearing my prayers and for this gift of eternal life and unconditional love. Please give me the wisdom, faith, and strength to walk in your ways. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Being the Perfect Mate in Marriage
So, back to that perfect mate list above. How do we select the perfect mate from the beginning? We look for strong morals and values that are lived out in someone’s life daily. Not just in the big things, but in the little things when they think no one is watching.
More importantly, marriage is more about BEING the perfect mate and inspiring (not demanding) your spouse to want to meet you there. Be the best mate you can be because it is who God created you to be. Let God take care of perfecting your spouse. We are all works in progress.
Has God done something amazing in your marriage?
I’m linking up here today.